Obelus
"You may kiss the bride" usually marks the end of a wedding process. The accompanying applause and cheers speaks to the unison and wish of the guests, the wish usually being a happy ever after. This wish is in order judging by the couple's intimate kiss and radiant smile. The actual end though, makes that wish nothing more than a matrimonial embellishment. To conclude that pre and post nuptial activities have divorce in view - as the eventual terminus to the union, is not being far from the truth. We could tamper the presumption by extenuating the proceedings as involuntary.
Primarily, misplaced priorities influence choice for a relationship and with whom. The mundane need (more like want) to par up with peers and to satisfy raw romantic pleasure sparks the desire for a pair up, overriding the more concrete need for companionship. The whom is decided by the perceived level of comfort attainable as opposed to the degree of genuine happiness derivable. Finding the sync between the emotional and physical potential of a prospective mate is a colossal task many are unwilling to embark on. Thus, the stage is set for a union of two mismatched personalities that even the strongest adhesive would find impossible to bind.
The mindset adopted to nurture this mismatch to the point of marriage is another cog in the relationship machine. With this, both parties seek to checkmate each other. The fairness in a stalemate where adult love should be treated as real and tough is worn out. The illusion of options, supposedly better options, make it difficult to fix any problem encountered along the way as nothing stops both parties from seeing each other if things don't work out. The slightest mistake can be the reason to jump ship and so a backpack is always packed. Such biases deny the relationship the benefit of doubt it needs to thrive and affects every preparation made for the exchange of vows which doubles as planning an annulment. The prenuptial agreement is one unfortunate effect of this mindset. The feminist drive for financial independence is partly fueled by the need to secure themselves in an event of a divorce. Even after betrothing their daughters, some parents insist these prospective brides be self-sufficient before marriage rites are finalized. The reason of course is not farfetched.
It is apparent that the marriage never truly had a chance with this let's-marry-to-divorce attitude. By the wedding day the die is cast. As the ecstasy wear off, frustration sets in. The huge gap in compatibility stares them in the face and the will to bridge it is all too lacking. The realness to check grey areas and the toughness to workout something worthwhile through thick and thin is missing. The "for better or worse ... till death do us part" is quickly forgotten. Expectedly, because all efforts from the onset had been selfish, deliberately aimed at security for an imagined end. With the end in sight, more friction burns out what is left of this charade. The grease of communication is replaced by a lubricant that now slides the hands of time till the papers are served.
From proposal to divorce, the walk down the aisle seems about the only proceeding that promises to keep this two joined together. Albeit sinisterly, as much as it keeps rows of seat apart, the aisle have also become an ironic symbol of division. Sadly ever after.
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